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Coming back home to yourself

Sep 16, 2020
More than we long for any other thing, we long to come back home to ourselves. 
For those of you who don’t know, the last two years my husband and I have been dreaming, planning and building our forever home. We stayed up on the lot for most of the project and watched as our dreams were coming true, nail by nail, board by board. As time got closer and the expense of the project grew, we realized it would be so much better for us to sell it. This was a hard decision and both of us mourned the loss of our home in our own way.
What I didn’t realize at the time is that God was about to teach me something that would end up being one of my greatest gifts. This life lesson would end up dramatically altering my life.
One night in the middle of the night I was woken up to a very distinct thought.
“Your body is your home.” The whisper startled me. 
(Mind you I have moved over 30 times in 18 years. I have been anxiously seeking a “home” the majority of my life.)
“Your BODY is your home.” It continued on repeat until ithe thought sunk deep into my bones.
My mind then opened up and information started pouring in. My soul rewrote the story in deep realization that what I was longing for would never be found outside of me. What I was longing for has been here all along — Me. I have been longing for me. To know me, to love me, to trust me. What I thought I was looking for was external safety and security, but what I truly wanted more than anything was to feel safe inside of my own skin. It was not four walls and a door to lock. It was to be a guardian of my own soul. I didn’t need a hill and a lawn to settle into, I needed to settle into my own worth.
I have since this night become wildly aware of the goodness of my own heart and the validity of my own thoughts. I have been learning to trust myself, to listen to myself and to know myself more deeply than I have ever dared before. I am becoming my own best friend. I am “coming home.”
For those of you who find yourself longing for something that might seem to illude you, may I suggest that whatever you are looking for is not outside of you. It is within you. It IS you. You are the very thing you seek. Your body, your heart, your mind, they are your home. They belong to you and no one else. Your path, it belongs to you and no one else. Your hopes, your dreams, your ideas, your thoughts and feelings. They are yours. You matter. Whatever parts of you that you may have put away on a shelf somewhere, for whatever reason… Let those things be a part of you again. Heed the whispers in the night. Come back home to yourself. 
Love you guys,
🧡 - Heather

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